Are you concerned about your child's relationship?
DO
- let them know that they don’t seem happy with their relationship.
- listen and encourage them to think about their relationship.
- believe them and take them seriously.
- offer support whether they choose to leave the abusive relationship or not.
- signpost them to a helpline to get information and support.
DON’T
- blame them or judge them.
- be impatient or put pressure on them to break up with their partner.
- criticise them for being confused.
- concentrate on the abuser’s reason for the abuse. Your child may start to feel responsible- focus on them instead.
Although we can offer parents and guardians advice and guidance, once we make contact with the young person, we work with them individually and will only share information with their consent or in order to prevent serious harm.
Worried about the impact of abuse in the home?
Domestic abuse is known to have a negative impact on children and young people. If you are concerned about your child, consider these suggestions:
DO
- Get support for yourself - you will be better able to support your children if your needs are being met. Addressing the impact of an abusive relationship will give you strength and will encourage your children to also seek support.
- Remember that everyone deals with difficulty differently. Be aware that your child’s upset may be shown through aggression, withdrawal, illness or self-harming.
- Reassure them they are not to blame.
- Acknowledge the abuse they have witnessed if they want to talk about it.
- Consider telling adults that may be able to support your child e.g. school teacher.
- Encourage them to contact us or another form of support outside of the family.
DON’T
- Rely on your child for emotional support or share with them explicit details of abuse they have not witnessed.
- Pretend abuse they have witnessed did not happen or excuse it. If your child raises it, they want to talk about it.
- Blame yourself, you did the best you could in difficult circumstances.
Some useful websites:
- www.thehideout.org.uk
- www.burstingthebubble.com
- www.childline.org.uk
- www.womensaid.org.uk
